


Choices

by Deescent (orphan_account)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Bottom Park Jinyoung | Jr., Confused Park Jinyoung, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Light Angst, Love, Love Triangles, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung | Jr., Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Smut, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-10-17 11:27:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17559518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Deescent
Summary: Jinyoung was in a brand new relationship with Jackson that had been going well for a while-- that is until one night something happens between him and another member that makes him start to question his own feelings, the choices he's made, and the main choice he has yet to make that will decide the future of his relationships.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't be confused if you got a notification for this story again, I deleted the last one and this is the re-editied version. I guess my excitement to post it pushed me to release something that had a few holes in it. If you wanna know what I changed and why, see the bottom notes for more details (or just read it again if you haven't already lol)
> 
> I used to be excited to post this, now I'm scared to mess it up again lol.

__Jinyoung was happy. He was in a newly formed relationship with Jackson after the elder had finally confessed his feelings that he’d been keeping to himself for so long. The two have been dating for just a few weeks now, still in the honeymoon phase of their relationship where they could barely stand being away from each other for more than 5 minutes. They were clingy to each other, and extremely annoying to the other members who were still single and hated seeing the mushy love birds together. Yet Jinyoung and Jackson couldn't care less, they had fallen too deep for each other to care about the other’s complaints.

The fact that the two could barely spend time together was also the reason why they disregarded the other's comments, since it was pretty rare for them to even have alone time together. They wanted to enjoy as much time as they could together when work wasn’t getting in the way, which was few and in between, but they were still somehow making it work.

A good example of this was when Jackson called Jinyoung one night to inform the younger that he had to stay out late at the studio to finish up some recordings, leaving Jinyoung to be alone again. He was quite used to this, but it still felt lonely in his bed without Jackson there, which is why he decided to try and occupy himself from the thought of Jackson’s absence.

Jinyoung had originally arranged a movie night for himself, getting some snacks and drinks to hold him during the film. He was surprised though, when Mark had walked by and noticed what he was doing, asking to join Jinyoung for the night. Jinyoung’s only other company was in the studio, and everyone else was either out as well or sleeping, so Mark was his only good choice left.

Jinyoung was also just naturally close to Mark, so when the elder asked to join him for movie night, of course Jinyoung said yes. He got out some more snacks to hold the both of them, and he even caught Mark pulling out some cups and a bottle of alcohol before the two headed to the living room to set up the film. Jinyoung sat on the couch, setting the items filling his arms down on the coffee table along with Mark next to him.

Jinyoung sighed, his mind continuing to go back to Jackson even though he was putting his best effort in to  _not_ think about the elder. Mark noticed Jinyoung's down attitude, having spent so much time with the younger, he knows Jinyoung's cues like the back of his hand, and Mark definitely knew that something was wrong.

“You okay?” Mark asked, looking at Jinyoung whose eyes were glued to the floor.

Jinyoung nodded, half lying to ease Mark’s nerves. “I’m fine…”

Mark gave Jinyoung a look, already knowing that wasn’t the truth. Mark knew Jinyoung all too well to just ignore his sad tone and pretend that everything was okay. “Come on, someone whose ‘fine’ doesn’t sigh so heavily.”

Jinyoung shrugged, shaking his head at his thoughts. “I mean… it’s not really that important but… I just miss seeing Jackson, y’know?”

Mark sighed, having heard this before. Jinyoung was often complaining about how he wish they had more time together, and Mark was often the one who lended his ear to listen to his complaints. “You two are glued to each other most of the day, honestly how can you guys not get tired of one another?”

“Well we've only been dating for a few weeks, we haven't really gotten out of that clingy stage yet…” Jinyoung stated, grabbing a throw pillow from the side and hugging it close to his chest as if it were Jackson himself.

Mark patted Jinyoung's shoulder, rubbing reassuring circles into the younger’s arm. “We see each other everyday, you’ll eventually have some time with him.”

“But I want  _more_ time… we’re always so busy, if I’m home, he’s not. If he’s home, I’m not. If we're both together, it’s because were out doing promotions or filming; there’s just rarely time for us to be an  _actual_ couple. It makes me miss him a lot….” Jinyoung stated, burying his face into the pillow on his lap.

Mark frowned, scooting closer to the younger and wrapping his arm fully around him. “Jinyoung, are you crying?” He asked worriedly.

Jinyoung shook his head, another heavy sigh coming out of him. “Not crying. Just wallowing in my sadness.”

“Don't wallow.” Mark said, trying to pull the pillow away from Jinyoung to expose his face. “Come on, you have me to spend time with. We’re supposed to be watching a movie right now, aren't we?”

Jinyoung nodded, lifting his head to look at Mark. Mark was able to take the pillow from Jinyoung and throw it off to the side, replacing the cushion with himself. He hugged Jinyoung tightly before landing a tickle attack on him, the younger giggling uncontrollably. This was always Mark’s way of putting a smile back on someone's face, and it always worked for Jinyoung.

“I’m sorry, I ruined the mood…” Jinyoung said after he had ceased his laughter.

Mark shook his head that ended up resting on Jinyoung's chest. “It’s fine, I understand. This is exactly why I brought out the alcohol though, we can watch movies, get drunk, and forget about our problems for a few hours.”

Jinyoung agreed to that statement, but the sudden mention of ‘ _problems_ ’ made him worry for Mark a bit. Especially with the fact that Mark seemed to want to get drunk and forget about something. “Mark, is something bothering you too?”

Mark was quiet for a moment as if he were thinking about it, only making Jinyoung worry more. Jinyoung listened to the elder's even breathing in that silent moment, his warm puffs of breath sending tingles across Jinyoung's skin. He's been having these strange sensations around Mark recently; his chest growing warmer when the elder is in close proximity, his heart pumping a bit faster just when talking to Mark. It was all weird, but Jinyoung just brushed the feelings off, not thinking of them as anything more than his platonic love for his friend.

Mark eventually shook his head, sitting up to begin pouring them some drinks. Jinyoung's chest suddenly grew cold from the absence of Mark's warmth. “No, I’m fine. You need to worry about yourself. Here, get wasted.”

Jinyoung chuckled as he took the cup of liquor from Mark, taking a sip of the strong concoction. Jinyoung didn't really want to get wasted, but a little tipsy never hurt anybody. Mark on the other hand, seemed to feel the complete opposite. He took huge gulps of his drink as they watched the movie, occasionally pouring himself a little more. This wasn't really unusual though, since Mark is pretty heavyweight when it came to alcohol, it takes him a lot more of the substance to start feeling the effects of it. Yet Jinyoung continuously glanced over at the elder, wondering if he really was trying to cope with some personal problem through the help of alcohol, and he just didn't want Jinyoung to know about it.

Somehow through the duration of the movie, the two shifted around on the couch and ended up cuddled in each other’s arms. This was also another normal thing for them though, since they were so close as friends, they often shared long hugs and touches that meant nothing more than just friendly gestures. Jinyoung never mentioned it, but he enjoys Mark's occasional touchiness. It's just nice to feel someone clinging to him as if he were going to fly away at any moment, and Jinyoung especially loved it when Mark put his head in the perfect place on his chest where he could bury his nose in the elder's soft, sweet smelling, and fluffy head of hair. Jinyoung has always enjoyed being around Mark, the elder just has an overall calming attitude, even when a little drunk.

Mark was always able to keep Jinyoung's nerves at bay, and that even included the unsettling thoughts he had LLPabout not seeing Jackson. Jinyoung didn't completely forget about his longing for Jackson, it definitely still sat like a lump of coal in the back of his mind, but he didn't think too much about Jackson at the time since Mark was making him laugh and focus on the movie rather than his relationship problems. Jinyoung appreciated Mark for doing this, and he honestly couldn't imagine what he'd do without the elder there to help take his mind off of troubling things. Jinyoung would just be a living lump of sadness if it weren't for Mark, and just that thought warmed his heart.

“This movie is like, garbage. But it's like… good garbage?” Mark said at some point halfway through, making Jinyoung laugh.

Jinyoung looked down at the man resting on his chest, accidentally getting a whiff of the vanilla scented shampoo he used in his hair. “Well, I didn't exactly read the description, I just kinda picked one and decided to give it a try.”

Mark picked up his head, looking up at Jinyoung through a slightly drunken and hazed stare. “You didn't pick the  _worst_ movie, it's just… like I said, good garbage.”

“You're good garbage.” Jinyoung said, turning the insult about the movie onto Mark.

Mark’s eyes widened, a grin slowly stretching across his lips. “Excuse me? What did you just call me?”

“I called you  _good_ garbage. But maybe you're just garbage.” Jinyoung said, unable to make it through his sentences without chucking.

Mark started laughing as well before reaching up to grab Jinyoung's wrists. That dazzling smile was just inches above Jinyoung's face, and Jinyoung couldn't help but admire Mark's nearly perfect features. “Oh? You wanna say that again, Park Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung laughed as he tried to avoid Mark’s grabby hands, but with the elder laying on top of him, it was hard to really move out of the way. “I said it twice already, you need to hear it once more?”

Mark finally grabbed Jinyoung's wrists, pinning them down to the couch so that the younger couldn't move. “I dare you to say it again. You might regret insulting me.”

“How can I regret insulting  _garbage_? There's a reason why dumps exists, to get rid of all that trash.” Jinyoung said, rubbing the insult in further just to bother Mark more.

Jinyoung tried to wrestle Mark off of him, the elder's grip on him tightening as he still tried to keep his upperhand. It turned into play fighting, the two squirming and giggling on the couch as they fought for more control. Mark was able to pin Jinyoung down again, the younger just laughing away at their ridiculous acting.

“Just give up Jinyoung, how does it feel to lose to _garbage_?” Mark asked, the elder straddling Jinyoung's hips as he pushed the younger’s wrist to the couch.

“So, you admit that you’re garbage?” Jinyoung asked, catching Mark in a loophole.

Yet Mark had a better comeback for that. “I'm not just garbage, I'm  _hot_ trash.”

Jinyoung scrunched up his nose, giving Mark a look of disgust. “You're not hot, you’re the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Says the one who drools over my pictures.” Mark said, referencing back to the time where Mark had caught Jinyoung staring at one of his photoshoot pictures.

“Th-That was…! I was just…” Jinyoung couldn't explain himself that day, and he still couldn't explain himself now. He couldn't deny that Mark was incredibly handsome, much like the rest of Got7. It just so happened that Mark walked by one day while Jinyoung was admiring one of his images, and Mark hadn't dropped it ever since. It wasn't Jinyoung's fault that he was surrounded by good looking people nearly 24/7. And it also wasn't his fault that Mark was an amazing model. Jinyoung just sighed exasperatedly at the elder, since Mark loves to bring up that day as often as he can to use against him. “... fine, you're  _hot_ trash, but you still belong in a dump.”

Mark chuckled, always loving when he's able to make Jinyoung speechless and powerless to him. “And I bet you’d visit the dump everyday just to see me.”

“I wouldn't.” Jinyoung quickly denied, once again trying to push Mark off of him, but the elder had him firmly pinned to the couch.

“You would. And I would wait for your cute ass everyday too.” Mark said confidently, not even a drop of shame or embarrassment in that comment.

Jinyoung was a bit caught off guard, by the little compliment that was woven into Mark's words. He felt his cheeks warm up a bit, and he imagined that his face must be turning a light rosy color. Jinyoung of course enjoyed compliments, and it feels even better when someone close to him like Jackson or Mark were giving them. They all often complimented one another, therefore Jinyoung just brushed the comment off, but he didn't fully rid himself of the tingly feeling that spread through his chest.

“I would never visit a dump. Especially not just to see some trash. I would be too afraid to to get your dirt on me.” Jinyoung stated with a giggle. He had stopped trying to fight against Mark's hold and was rather relaxed, too amused with the conversation to really care.

“Oh, so now I’m dirty too?” Mark asked, his eyebrow raised at yet another insult Jinyoung brought up.

“Hot dirty trash.” Jinyoung repeated with a grin on his face.

Mark stared down at Jinyoung for an awkwardly long time. It was just for a minute or two, but a minute or two of just silence felt way too long. Jinyoung grew a tad bit uncomfortable, especially when he finally noticed what suggestive positions they were in. He felt his cheeks warm again, especially when his eyes flashed down to see how close Mark was to sitting right on his crotch. He got a weird feeling in his lower stomach, as if he were anticipating something. The brief thought of Mark shifting just a few inches backwards made him look away. He hoped that Mark would stay in place, because if the elder moved just a bit, it would either end in pain from his weight, or a _different_ feeling that Jinyoung tried not to think about.

Jinyoung started to squirm his body a little, subtly hinting for Mark to lean back a bit, but the elder didn't move a muscle, still holding Jinyoung down while hovering close to his face. The movie was long forgotten at this point, and all Jinyoung was concerned about was why Mark seemed to be taking so long to respond. The elder's tongue ran slowly across his lips as he stared at Jinyoung, something obviously being on his mind, but not sharing it with younger. Jinyoung looked away from Mark, the sight of him licking his lips almost hungrily making him feel really weird. He didn't know if it was a good weird or a bad weird, but it was definitely  _weird_.

“Exactly  _how_ dirty am I?” Mark suddenly asked, finally breaking the short lived silence between them.

Jinyoung shook his head, assuming that they were still joking around. “Um… well trash is pretty dirty so, I guess you’re just filthy.”

Mark hummed in response, nodding his head as he thought over the younger’s statement. Jinyoung nearly felt the low rumble in Mark's chest run through his own, sending a light shudder through his body. He felt weird for reacting that way,  _very_ weird, but he couldn't really point out what this weird feeling was.

“I might be a lot dirtier than you expect.” Mark responded, his dark eyes boring down into Jinyoung's.

Jinyoung didn't know what to think about that comment. They were still talking about trash, right? He couldn't be sure anymore, but to be on the safe side, he just assumed that they were, and Jinyoung cursed his mind for briefly going to a much less than pure place.  “U-Um, yeah, I guess. If you're trash, you probably have a ton of dirt on you.”

Mark was quiet again for another moment, his eyes glued to Jinyoung as the whole thing seemed to grow a bit awkward. At least to Jinyoung, it felt a bit awkward now. Mark suddenly leaned in closer, catching Jinyoung off guard. He could feel the elder’s breath against his cheeks, his heart racing almost out of his chest as he tried to figure out exactly what was going on right now.

“Should I  _show_ you how dirty I am?” Mark asked in a whisper, his tone sending shivers down Jinyoung's spine.

For some reason, Jinyoung felt like the conversation was definitely not about actual garbage anymore. He didn't want to jump to assumptions but, he felt like things were heating up between them in all the wrong ways. Jinyoung suddenly felt hot, hot in all the  _wrong_ ways, especially when he has a  _boyfriend_. He started squirming a bit more under Mark’s weight.

“U-Uh, um… Mark, let's just… stop this now…” Jinyoung nervously said, feeling as if he should have ended this conversation a long time ago.

Yet Mark didn't move, his face still centimeters from Jinyoung's, and his body still laying all of its weight on top of the younger. “I don't want to. Lets keep going, huh?”

Jinyoung shook his head, not understanding what was going on. Why was Mark suddenly acting like this? Why was he so close to Jinyoung’s face? Why was he still straddling him and pinning Jinyoung down under him?

Why was Jinyoung's heart beating so fast?

Suddenly, the thought of Jackson came to mind. Jackson made Jinyoung feel all flustered when they got intimate, and the current position him and Mark were in now just reminded him of that. Jinyoung felt sweaty, the room must've heated up by a thousand degrees. Mark was way too close, Jinyoung couldn't breath. Why was he _so_ close?

Jinyoung suddenly recognized this feeling that he was having. It was the feeling he got whenever Jackson came home. It was the feeling he gets when he's cuddled in his bed with his boyfriend's body pressed snugly against his own. It was the feeling he got when Jackson would lead Jinyoung to his bedroom and lock the door behind them.

_Attraction._

“M-Mark, I don't know where you're taking this but w-we need to stop…” Jinyoung quickly said, beginning to panic once he realized exactly what he'd been feeling since the two had started watching the movie together.

That explained the fast pumping of his heart in his chest. It explained the warm tingly feeling he got from Mark laying on him. It explained his flustered reaction to Mark's compliments. It explained the sudden, short lived pang of arousal he felt between his legs as Mark shifted around on top of him, and all Jinyoung knew was that he definitely should  _not_ be feeling this way.

Especially not towards someone who  _isn't_ Jackson.

“But Jinyoung…” Mark started, his legs adjusting their position on each side of Jinyoung's thighs, moving his body those few inches that Jinyoung  _prayed_ he wouldn't do. “...can't you feel what you do to me?”

Jinyoung frowned, not getting what Mark was saying. Feel what he does to Mark? Mark sounded crazy, and Jinyoung couldn't understand exactly what was going on. He knew that it was definitely going in a very wrong direction, but he still didn't fully know what Mark's intentions were.

That was, until Jinyoung felt pressure against his pelvis, the feeling of something deliciously dragging along his private part hidden in his sweats. Jinyoung gasped, recognizing the feeling of that hard bulging thing grinding against him.

Oh. So this is what's happening.

“M-Mark stop, Mark w-we can't do this, please...” Jinyoung quickly said once that first wave of pleasure ran through him. He felt wrong. Mark felt so good but he felt so so wrong about it. He could barely wrap his mind around what was happening.

All Jinyoung could think of was Jackson. His _boyfriend_ , Jackson. He already felt so ashamed. What was he doing? Why was he betraying Jackson like this? Why did Mark suddenly attack him this way? Just moments ago they were playing around as friends, now… now Jinyoung was confused.

“Jinyoung please, you feel it, don't you? I feel yours too, it's getting bigger…” Mark said, referring to Jinyoung's member that was growing from the light friction of Mark's erection that poked through his shorts.

Of course Jinyoung felt it. He felt Mark's hard on rub against his own member, turning Jinyoung on in a very bad way, though Jinyoung was already turned on before the first roll of their hips together. He shouldn't be aroused, this was  _Mark_. His  _friend_ , Mark. He has no idea why Mark was doing this out of nowhere, but Jinyoung was more ashamed of himself for getting turned on by another guy when he's already in a relationship with Jackson. He felt ashamed for feeling his heart flutter and chills run down his spine just from the casual touches him and Mark shared. Now this? How could Mark do this to Jackson? How could  _Jinyoung_ do this to Jackson? This wasn't right at all, yet it felt so good. Why did it feel  _so_ good?

“Mark… th-this is… I have a  _boyfriend_ , w-what about Jackson?” Jinyoung asked, feeling another experimental grind against himself from Mark.

Mark shook his head, the elder obviously too focused on the present moment to worry about anything or anyone else. Mark's hooded eyes gazed down at Jinyoung in the least purest of ways, yet Jinyoung could still see a look of adoration in them along with the dirty stare. “Jackson isn't here, is he? He won't see or know anything. After spending so many nights alone, don't you feel pent up? Don't you want to let it all out?”

The scary part about this was that Mark wasn't wrong. Jinyoung  _was_ pent up. Not just with sadness of barely being able to spend time with Jackson, but with sexual energy that he's never had the time to release. Of course he could jerk off and take care of it quickly, but Jinyoung has been longing for Jackson's touch for weeks now, yet they never are together long enough to do much. He wanted to let it all out, he wanted to release himself. He's craved to be touched for weeks, and now Mark was finally giving him what he's been waiting for Jackson to give him.

He couldn't express that to Mark though, that would just be encouraging his behavior that was definitely not acceptable. No matter how good he felt and how much he reacted to Mark's every move, Jinyoung just found himself constantly repeating. ‘ _I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend, I have a boyfriend…_ ’ in his mind as Mark rolled his hips once again.

“B-But, Mark this is wrong, this is so very wrong…” Jinyoung said, trying not to react too much to the wonderful drag of Mark's clothed dick against his own. Jinyoung's words and actions differed though, as he bucked his hips up into Mark's for more friction. Shouldn't he be doing the opposite right now?

“No, it's right. It's so right, Jinyoung you feel  _so_ amazing… just let me pleasure you, I know you want it too…” Mark said, his lips brushing lightly against Jinyoung's as leaned in closer to the younger.

Jinyoung turned his head away, not liking the fact that he got a tingly feeling from the light touch of Mark's lips. He shouldn't be feeling butterflies in his stomach with every touch from the elder, he has a _boyfriend_. He also didn't like the fact that a wave of pleasure crashed over him from Mark's hips rolling into his own, since he should only be doing this with his  _boyfriend_. And he definitely didn't like the warm feeling in his chest that he got from Mark's voice and close proximity, that drove Jinyoung's heart wild. He shouldn't be melting from Mark's advances, he shouldn't be wanting to grip Mark's hips and rub himself up harder against the elder, he  _should_ be pushing Mark away instead because Mark definitely _wasn't_ his  _boyfriend_.

Jinyoung couldn't help but feel terrible about it all. Was he really just going to cheat on Jackson like this? With Mark of  _all_ people? It would be different if it was just some random person they didn't know, but cheating with your close friend is a whole new low. He should be trying to push Mark off, he should be yelling and fighting him, but he just felt  _so good._ Why did he feel  _so good_? Jinyoung's body was reacting on its own, and the last thing it wanted was to stop this and be left unsatisfied.

Jinyoung didn't know what to do. He felt stuck, conflicted, and confused. His mind was scrambled, and his heart was beating rapidly for the wrong person. This wasn't Jackson. This was Mark. This wasn't his boyfriend. This was his  _best_ friend. How could he allow his best friend to just betray the person he loved? How could Jinyoung himself allow this to be happening? How could he let himself to continue this, even with Jackson in the back of his mind? How could he enjoy having Mark pressed against him so much?

“I can't, we c-can't do this, Mark s-seriously, think about Jack- “ Jinyoung couldn't even finish his sentence.

He couldn't even make it all the way through his argument without a moan rudely interrupting his thoughts. Mark had grinded against him harder and seemingly deeper than he had before, drawing out the neediest moan from Jinyoung.

This was bad. This was so  _very_ bad. Yet Jinyoung made little to no effort to stop it.

“Ask yourself, Jinyoung…” Mark mumbled, his hips pausing for just a moment to give Jinyoung a bit of time to take in a few breaths. “Do you  _really_ wanna stop?”

Jinyoung barely had a clear head to think on this. He was a little buzzed too, and a lot horny, and all he could feel was his erection straining in his pants. Of course he thought of Jackson, and how the last thing he should be doing was grinding himself against Mark on the couch in their living room; but Jinyoung was in a daze caused by Mark. The elder was just so _close_ , his body was almost inhumanly warm, and aside from the smell of alcohol, Mark's natural musk was driving Jinyoung crazy. His judgment was definitely clouded, which only left for Jinyoung to spiral down into more trouble.

It was a shame that he actually had to ask himself the question  _‘Do I_   _really want him to stop?’_. And it was even more of a shame what his true answer was.

“I… “ Jinyoung started, his breath hitching as Mark's hand pressed into his bucking hips that searched for more friction. He said the first thing that came to his conflicted mind, that being the truth of how he felt in the moment, only realizing how bad of a decision it was until after it came out of his mouth. “...I want to finish…”

A grin spread across Mark's face that made Jinyoung's heartbeat unusually hard, the elder quickly aligning himself once again to grind himself harder against Jinyoung. Jinyoung choked out a moan, his back arching off of the cushion as he felt himself already tipping closer to the edge. Deep inside Jinyoung's chest, he felt a pang of guilt that hit him with every wave of pleasure, and though he didn't think about it much with so much stimulation between his legs, he knew that he would regret the choice he just made.

Jinyoung felt himself slowly losing his mind. He was gripping onto Mark desperately as the elder dragged their erections against one another. Jinyoung felt so good, yet so bad at the same time. His heart tore and beat out of his chest at the same time. He wanted more, yet knew he should've tried his hardest to make it stop. He didn't though.

He wanted to be faithful to Jackson. He really did.

But he lost that battle once Mark started moving his hips faster, pulling Jinyoung in with the pleasure of their dicks rubbing together. Jinyoung's legs trembled uncontrollably, his own hips rolling up to meet Mark's at the same time.

Mark groaned into Jinyoung's ear, loving the response the younger gave him. “Just like that Jinyoung, you feel so fucking good…”

Jinyoung shuddered, a moan coming out of him just from Mark's deep and lustful voice rumbling in his ear. He could smell the alcohol reeking off of Mark, and suddenly the thought came to him: was this just Mark's drunken horniness? Maybe Mark wasn't fully thinking about what he was doing. Maybe he didn't mean to purposely hurt and betray Jackson, it could just be his bad judgment from all the alcohol. Yet, for some reason, the thought of this all being alcohol driven made Jinyoung feel a bit let down.

That still didn't give an excuse to Jinyoung though, who continued to allow the elder to grind into him. Whether Mark started it from alcohol or not, Jinyoung shouldn't be partaking in this act with him. At least it would be all Jinyoung's fault though. The last thing he wanted was for Jackson to lose trust in Mark as a friend when Mark has been there for him through thick and thin. If Jackson were to find out and get mad at someone and hate them forever, Jinyoung would rather it be him than Mark.

“M-Mark, y-you drank too much…” Jinyoung whimpered out, trying to keep his moans at bay. Yet he found himself not really caring that Mark drank too much. The brief thought of Mark  _not_ being slightly drunk and rather him just doing this from pure feelings played through Jinyoung's head, and that only turned him on more. He  _shouldn't_ be turned on like this at all though, and his thoughts  _shouldn't_ be making it worse; yet there he was pressed against the couch, desperately rubbing himself against Mark like an animal in heat.

He wanted to force himself  _not_ to like Mark dry humping him, but his leaking erection and muffled noises said something completely different. He was enjoying himself  _way_ too much, and he was steadily losing his grip on his rationale.

“I know… I don't care, I just want you…” Mark responded between pants, his hips moving faster and harder against Jinyoung's.

Jinyoung's fingers curled into Mark's shirt as another moan ripped through his throat. He was shaking with pleasure, his body unable to handle such an intense feeling. Jinyoung couldn't hold himself back anymore, his noises of pleasure rolling out of him as he was brought closer to his climax.

He felt his orgasm creeping up on him, his hips bucking up uncontrollably to press his cock harder against Mark's. It felt way too good, and it was bad that it felt good. Very very bad. He should feel offended and disgusted by Mark for doing this, but he didn't. He felt the complete opposite, which is what scared him even more.

He was terrified of the feelings that were slowly bubbling up inside of him. But, he wasn't surprised by them. It felt almost as if they were always there, and now they were suddenly making their first bold appearance.

“M-Mark, I-I can't, I-I'm gonna cum…” Jinyoung squeaked out, his heavy breaths driving Mark to bring him to his climax.

“I've always wanted to make you cum… please cum for me Jinyoung.” Mark mumbled, his hands moving down to wrap around Jinyoung's waist as he rubbed himself against the younger vigorously.

It only too a few more rolls of their hips together, Jinyoung gasping as he felt his pants fill with warm liquid with an erotic noise escaping him. Mark nibbled at Jinyoung's ear as he came, whispering dirty words that only made his spent dick twitch with want. Jinyoung's eyes were wide, his chest still heaving from his heavy pants while he rode out his high against Mark.

Jinyoung felt like he was brought to cloud nine and back in that moment, his body convulsing as he was emptied of the last of his substance. He buried his face into Mark's shoulder, taking in a deep breath that filled his nose with Mark's wonderful scent. He felt like he was under a spell; a spell that caused him to cheat on Jackson and enjoy every second of it. What kind of sick spell was this?

“Nyoungie is so beautiful… why did you have to pick him over me?” Mark asked, after the elder's body stopped shuddering from his own orgasm.

Jinyoung's eyes widened. Did he hear that correctly? “W-What?” he asked for clarity.

Mark shook his head before resting it on Jinyoung's chest. “Nothing.”

Jinyoung wondered briefly if he should take what Mark said seriously. He wondered what it was supposed to mean, and Jinyoung could only assume that the  _‘him’_ Mark was referring to was Jackson. Jinyoung didn't know what to think of any of this, and the gravity of the situation started to slowly sink in.

Jinyoung frowned as he realized just how bad he messed up, and how bad this whole situation was in general. How could Mark be so calm after this? This was possibly one of the worst things they could've done, and to betray a friend? How could Mark live with himself after that? How could  _Jinyoung_ even live with himself after allowing this to happen? Jinyoung tried to get Mark to talk, but the elder was already drifting off on his chest.

Jinyoung had a terrible feeling in his stomach. The once wonderful and addictive pleasure he felt moments ago was quickly replaced with anxiousness and dread. How would Jinyoung react the next time he sees Jackson? What will he do? What should he say? Should he confess and tell Jackson what happened? Will he be understanding? Or will he hate Jinyoung forever and never want to see him again?

What was worse was the fast beating in Jinyoung's chest that hadn't stopped since it started. Of course he felt terrible for his actions, but his heart sang a different song, nearly beating out of his chest for the man who currently laid on top of him. Mark was beautiful in his blissed out state, and Jinyoung could barely handle the ethereal glow the elder had coming off of him.

Jinyoung's heart was about to explode as he gazed down at Mark's calm face. That wasn't right though, it should only beat like this for Jackson, shouldn't it? Yet, why did he feel it continue its fast rhythm for Mark instead? Why did he even allow all of this to happen? Why did he enjoy it way more than he should have? And… what did this mean for the future between him and Jackson?

All of these questions swirled around in Jinyoung mind, leaving him with a partially sleepless night, while the main criminal to this love crime slept peacefully on his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did post this previously, but I got a comment criticizing the consent of what happened between Mark and Jinyoung, where in the previous version, there used to be no clear consent for Mark to keep going. But I didn't want this to get confused with rape, and I didn't want to put a rape tag on it since in my mind the consent was implied (I don't like writing rape, so if I ever write anything with no clear consent, then the consent between the two characters is most likely implied.) But I do understand that implied consent is still not acceptable; it's just a little awkward for me to somehow fit in this particular story "Do you wanna do the dirties with me??" And the other peson saying "yes I totally consent to doing the dirties!" Sksksks. Like, I want consent to be given in actions rather than clearly stated in words, but cleary I haven't really gotten to that level of writing where I can do that effectively lol, so I'm sorry for trying to write at a level that I have not mastered yet. AND I'm sorry for alarming those who thought of the scene as rape and wanted me to add that tag. In the third chapter, the whole consent thing was addressed, not just by Mark, but also Jinyoung and another member. But I didn't want to keep the first chapter up if I've not satisfied those who read it, and didn't clearly get my intentions across. I also think I made Jinyoung's guilt too overbearing in the old version and didn't highlight the actual enjoyment he felt from it enough.
> 
> So I'll stick to the basics whenever I post a story and somehow work in a worded consent from now on so that no one is confused about it. I'm still trying to improve!!
> 
> Anywayyy, I hope the person who commented received my response to their comment before I deleted the old version of this work, and I hope you like this version better (though much hasn't changed); I did however, have to edit the entire story to accomodate the changes I made, but I hope my intentions with it came across a bit more clearer. I even added the tag you wanted in case you still felt like the consent wasn't clear enough. I absolutely hate confusing and disappointing readers, so hopefully this version is much better than the first. Please leave thoughts or anymore criticism because I'm a shit writer and I'm sorry for that as well. Thank you! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just hope this chapter sort of helps flush out the first???

The next morning, Jinyoung woke up in a panic. He had somehow eventually fallen asleep and had a terrible dream that Jackson had came home early and saw Mark and him in the middle of their dirty deed. Jackson immediately teared up, pulling Mark off of Jinyoung before screaming at him and running out. It was a terrifying dream that Jinyoung wished was fake, but him and Mark did do something totally regretful the night before, and it was a good possibility that Jackson would react just as badly to it.

Jinyoung was also expecting Mark to still be laying on his chest, but when he rose, the elder was gone. The snacks and alcohol from last night were all gone as well. Mark just disappeared, as if he were never there. As if he didn't just disrespect Jinyoung and Jackson's relationship by doing sexual things with Jinyoung just the night before.

Jinyoung was confused, and worried, and terrified, but more than anything, he just felt guilty. He didn't know how he could face Jackson after what’s happened, it would just be too much for him to handle. he felt bad for falling into Mark's seduction, and he felt bad for becoming aroused for someone that wasn’t Jackson, and he felt bad about thinking of Jackson while moaning Mark's name; Jinyoung just felt bad about everything. He briefly wondered how heartless people who cheat on their lovers are; he just couldn’t understand how someone could disregard someone else's trust and feelings with no remorse.

It wasn’t like Jinyoung could just try and forget about it either, not when he lived with both Mark and Jackson in the same house. How could he possibly not be reminded of what happened every time he saw Mark? And how could he not think of how guilty he felt every time he was around Jackson?

Jinyoung had no idea how to handle this situation. He really cheated on Jackson with Mark. The feeling was really setting in now, and he felt absolutely disgusted with himself. What made it even worse though, was the fact that Jinyoung's heart hurt for Jackson, yet beat even faster for Mark. He felt horrible about doing such things with Mark, yet Jinyoung had no idea why he felt so fluttery and warm from just the thought of the elder. It just didn’t make sense. No one else but Jackson should be able to do this to him, so why is Mark suddenly having this effect?

Jinyoung shook his head, covering his face with his hands. He needed something to drink. His throat was dry, and he was actually quite hungry as well, so he stood up, heading to the kitchen with his mind full of bad thoughts and regret. He dragged himself over to the cupboard, grabbing a glass and shuffling over to the sink. He filled it with cold water, gulping down the drink just as fast as he filled it.

He sighed heavily, trying to sort out all of the different feelings deep inside of himself. It was all too much, he felt too many different ways about too many different things; how did his life go down so quickly? All it took was one person, and one movie night alone with them to fuck Jinyoung up, and now he’s dealing with the consequences.

Speaking of that person, Jinyoung was startled by an arm wrapping around his waist with something warm pressing against his back. He took in a sharp breath, feeling warm breath puff against his cheek. His body was pressed into the counter in front of him, trapping him in between.

“Hey.” He heard Mark say against the nape of his neck, making Jinyoung shudder.

Jinyoung squirmed to try and get out of Mark's grasp. It was too early to do this, and Jinyoung already felt bad enough, the last thing he wanted was to worsen his conscience. “Mark please…”

“Please what? You want me that bad?” Mark asked with a deep chuckle that nearly made Jinyoung's knees buckle. Why did he react this way? This was his  _ friend _ Mark, not his  _ boyfriend _ Jackson.

“N-No, Mark this isn’t okay…” Jinyoung said, pulling at Mark's arms that wrapped further around him. Mark felt incredibly warm, and Jinyoung wanted to lean against him so bad, but that wouldn't be right. Not to Jackson, nor to himself.

“Why not? Jackson isn’t around. Who said we can’t fool around again, like last night?” Mark said, bringing up what happened the night before. 

Jinyoung had thought that maybe Mark was just drunk and confused, and he would forget about what happened the next day. Obviously though, Mark wasn't wasted enough to have clouded judgement, and he was fully aware of what he was doing last night.

He felt Mark's hand slip under the hem of his shirt, the elder's fingers slowly sliding across Jinyoung's heated skin. Mark pushed himself against Jinyoung more, and Jinyoung could've been mistaken, but he swore he felt something hard rubbing against his ass as Mark grinded against him. Jinyoung gasped, moving the elder's hand away. He was going too far too fast, and Jinyoung needed to stop it now before they ended up doing something else they'd regret.

“Mark no, please stop, we really can’t…” Jinyoung said desperately, trying to fight against Mark's nearly irresistible touch. Why was he so irresistible though? Why could Jinyoung never fight against his touch? Why did he really want  _ more _ rather than less?

“But you want to, don't you? You wanted to last night.” Mark said, judging by the way Jinyoung bit his bottom lip to keep himself from making too much noise. 

“You caught me off guard last night…” Jinyoung argued, though the terrible truth was that Jinyoung  _ did _ want Mark to continue, despite the pleads coming from his mouth, his heartbeat faster for the elder the more Mark touched him.

“Pleasant surprise though, right?” Mark ashed cheerfully.

How could he be so happy about this? Shouldn't he be feeling bad too? Yet her was instead trying to seduce Jinyoung again, and Jinyoung cursed the fact that it was working. “Mark, it wasn't… it shouldn't have happened...”

“Shouldn't have, but it did.” Mark stated, the fact being something Jinyoung hated, but couldn't argue.

“You were too pushy, I didn't know what  else to do...” Jinyoung complained while pushing back against Mark, his actions definitely not matching his words.

“And you sat there, sad and sexually frustrated while hugging me on the couch, what did you expect me to do? Sit there and watch you cry over someone else when you could be much happier with me?” Mark asked, his breath ghosting across Jinyoung's earlobe, making him shudder.

Jinyoung shook his head, hating everything about this, yet craving more. Why was he like this? Why couldn't he fight against it? None of it made sense, and he hated himself more for continuing to fall for Mark's advances, especially since he was  _ supposed _ to be faithful to Jackson. “Mark I… I don't want to continue this if… I mean… w-we just can't. Jackson will be-” 

“Forget Jackson.” Mark stated firmly. His wandering hand travelled down Jinyoung's front to in between his legs, cuping the younger's member that was slowly awakening due to Mark's presence. “ _ This _ , tells me that despite having Jackson, you  _ really _ want me too.”

Jinyoung gasped, a blush settling across his face. He felt ashamed for becoming turned on once again by someone who wasn't Jackson, but for some reason he just couldn't help but fall away into Mark's touch. Mark squeezed his hand around Jinyoung's bulge, pulling a whimper out of him. Jinyoung wanted more, he wanted Mark's magical hands to make him feel like he did last night. Even with Jackson on his mind, knowing that this was a bad thing to do, Jinyoung couldn't stop the soft moans that escaped his lips, and the desperate rolls of his hips forward into Mark's palm.

Suddenly, the sound of a door opening from down the hall startled the both of them, and as fast as Mark's hands traveled onto Jinyoung, they disappeared. Mark walked over to the dining table, pretending as if he'd been sitting there the entire time. Jinyoung moved over to the sink, pretending to have been washing the glass he just drank from. He had to quickly get himself together, yet the blush on his face and the arousal in his pants was hard to just hide and ignore. He had to though, especially when he glanced behind him and saw that it was Jackson walking into the kitchen, the elder having gotten home at some point late last night.

Jinyoung was unable to face him. He immediately looked away, and from the corner of his eyes he saw Mark watching them closely from the table. Jinyoung listened to Jackson's soft footsteps get closer to him, the elder creeping up on him from behind like Mark had before.

Jinyoung felt a familiar pair of strong arms wrap around him as Jackson pressed his body to Jinyoung's back. Jinyoung felt nervous and scared and guilty yet, fluttery and warm all at the same time. Why did he feel the same way for Mark that he felt for Jackson? Ony Jackson was allowed to make him feel this way, not Mark. He was supposed to feel good and right in Jackson's arms, not wrong and uncomfortable. His guilt was eating him up, and Jackson hanging all over him wasn't helping it at all.

“Hey sexy.” Jackson greeted, making Jinyoung's heart skip a beat.

“H-Hi…” Jinyoung choked out, focusing on washing the glass rather than on Jackson's deep and husky morning voice.

Jinyoung felt Jackson snuggle his face into his shoulder, the elder taking in a deep breath of Jinyoung's scent. “I missed you last night… a lot…”

Jinyoung's heart could have torn at that moment. He remembered how he was saying the same thing to Mark last night, complaining again about how he just wanted more time with Jackson. Now that all feels like a lie after what happened, it feels like Jinyoung was just taking Jackson's feelings for granted.

“I… missed you too…” Jinyoung replied back, despite how fake it sounded. He did love Jackson, and he does miss him, but how can he confidently say that after fooling around with Mark behind his back?

“I wish we could make up for lost time but… I gotta work again early today.” Jackson said with a pout before lightly kissing Jinyoung's cheek.

If Jackson made Jinyoung's heart pound anymore, he would probably die of a heart attack. And if Jackson makes him feel anymore guilty about what he did, he might die from not being able to live with himself. Either way, Jackson was killing him in more ways than one, and the elder didn’t even know about it. 

“Oh, really? That sucks…” Jinyoung replied, trying to act normal when really it felt like he was hiding the biggest secret ever.

“Yeah… but… I still have time for breakfast with you.” Jackson said cheerily, only breaking Jinyoung heart more. He seemed genuinely happy to spend as much time as he could with Jinyoung, and Jinyoung would’ve been too, if it weren’t for a certain someone scrambling up his whole world in one night. Jackson pressed himself closer to the younger, leaning in close to Jinyoung's ear. “And maybe we can work in a quickie afterwards.” He whispered, sending shivers down Jinyoung's spine.

Jinyoung gulped, a shaky breath leaving him as Jackson lightly kissed his neck then walked away. Jinyoung glanced behind him, seeing Jackson walking over to join Mark at the table.

“You two done flirting?” Mark asked when Jackson approached him, making Jinyoung flinch from the sound of his voice.

“Shut up Mark, don’t be jealous of us.” Jackson said cockily.

“I’m not anywhere near jealous. It’s just annoying to see.” Mark said. Jinyoung glanced over at the eldest, wondering if it was annoying to see him and Jackson together because of what happened last night.

“Well I’m sorry that I like to show my boyfriend love first thing in the morning. Maybe you should consider spending quality time with someone rather than being locked up in your room.” Jackson said, yet little did he know that Mark and Jinyoung had spent  _ plenty _ of quality time together on the couch the night before.

Mark rolled his eyes, shaking his head at the younger. “I spend enough quality time with people… don’t worry about me.”

Mark’s eyes flashed over to Jinyoung, and he swore he could see a small smirk on the elder’s face. Jinyoung swallowed hard, turning his eyes away from Mark and focusing on getting himself some cereal. Jackson helped him make a bowl for him and Mark, the three of them sitting at the table together.

Jinyoung dreaded eating breakfast with both Jackson and Mark, but Jackson insisted on them eating together, and Mark seemed like he wasn’t going anywhere. He felt like the awkwardest one there, and all he could imagine was Jackson finding out about his rendezvous with Mark, or Mark mentioning it and telling Jackson that he basically seduced his boyfriend into sexual activities. Jinyoung was on edge, and sitting at the table with the two was the most tense moment he’s ever been through.

It was especially unbearable with Jackson constantly touching him, mumbling cute little mushy words of love and affection to him while Mark kept constantly glaring at the two. Jinyoung had no idea how Jackson didn’t notice Mark’s stares, especially considering how long the elder was looking, but Jinyoung noticed them almost immediately, which made him feel even more uncomfortable. He felt like if he even breathed too loud the tension would break, so Jinyoung just quickly and quietly ate his food, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

He finished his cereal, excusing himself from the table and getting up to clean his bowl out. As soon as Jinyoung finished, Jackson was suddenly done as well, which was the elder’s obvious tactic to leave at the same time as Jinyoung so they could spend some alone time together. Jinyoung normally would’ve found it cute, but the last thing he wanted was to be alone in a room together with Jackson, his guilt would sky rocket and he wouldn’t know how to react.

Yet as Jinyoung walked out of the kitchen down the hallway, trying to quickly make it to his room, of course he was stopped by Jackson, the elder grabbing his wrist and pulling him to his own room. Jinyoung tried to gently pull away, but Jackson obviously was too eager to let the younger go. Jackson pulled Jinyoung into his room, closing the door behind them before pulling Jinyoung into his arms.

“Finally.” Jackson said as he looked at Jinyoung through darker eyes. “I have about 15 minutes before I gotta go. We should make the best of it.”

Jinyoung would normally long for a moment like this, but at that time he just wanted to be alone. He needed time to think things over, yet everywhere he turned, Jackson or Mark was there. “U-Um, Maybe you should leave early…”

“And miss spending time with you? No thanks.” Jackson said, his hands slowly moving down to cup over Jinyoung's ass.

Jinyoung felt Jackson give his cheeks a good squeeze, a soft gasp escaping him. He wanted Jackson so bad, but he couldn’t do it. Not with the thought of Mark in the back of his mind. “Jackson, I’m a bit-…”

“Restless? Me too, which is why we should take care of this as soon as possible.” Jackson said, his fingers dipping under Jinyoung's shirt.

“No, no th-that’s not what I was- “ Jinyoung cut himself off with a whimper as Jackson’s fingers dragged over his sensitive nipples.

“You’re always so shy when we do this, yet you’re the one who starts most of the seduction games.” Jackson said, closing in to press a kiss to Jinyoung's lips.

“B-But…” Jinyoung trailed off as Jackson's lips pressed to his, the elder making him melt in his arms.

“I miss you so much, all I think about is you when you’re not around…” Jackson whispered against Jinyoung's lips before deepening the kiss.

Jinyoung couldn’t resist the taste and feel of Jackson’s mouth against his own. He felt terrible, he didn’t know why he was kissing Jackson like everything was okay and normal when it really wasn’t. What happened between him and Mark still didn’t change how much he loved Jackson, and it definitely didn’t change how bad Jinyoung wanted to have moments like this more often. It did however, confuse Jinyoung on where he stood with the both of them now. He was confused about his feelings, especially for Mark. He wasn't supposed to feel anything else for Mark besides friendly love, yet every time he's with the elder, that wasn't exactly the only thing he felt.

Jinyoung's mind was racing as he kissed Jackson. Even though the elder's lips makes his knees buckle, Jinyoung couldn't solely focus on Jackson anymore. He was too busy worrying about his changing relationship with Mark, and what it meant for him and Jackson, to fully focus on the intimate tenderness of the liplock.

That doesn't mean that Jackson didn't leave him light headed when he parted from Jinyoung's lips though. “I wish I could stay here with you forever….” Jackson mumbled, trailing butterfly kisses along Jinyoung's cheek and jaw.

Jinyoung blushed, his mouth curling up into a smile as he felt the same for Jackson. Yet it quickly dropped as he wondered how he could smile when he's literally betraying the man that loves him. Jinyoung felt that he was a terrible person. That was the only way he could possibly describe it. He was just terrible, and sooner or later both Mark and Jackson would end up hating him. Right now though, Jackson felt everything but hate for Jinyoung, which only crushed the younger's heart more

“...but, I gotta go. I’ll see you later though.” Jackson smiled at Jinyoung as he turned to pick up his bag. He turned back around to place a chaste kiss on Jinyoung's lips, and another on his forehead. 

“I love you babe.” he whispered before opening the door to head out.

Jinyoung mindlessly followed him, his heart pumping so fast after Jackson's sweet love confession. He followed the elder to the door, partially to make sure it's locked after he walks out, but also because Jinyoung felt as if he were on a string tied to Jackson, and he wished the elder didn't have to go.

Jackson looked back with a grin as he saw Jinyoung's lovestruck face behind him, waving at the younger as he walked out the front door. Jinyoung needed a moment to get himself together, blinking himself out of his trance. He went and locked the door, turning back around with a sigh. He suddenly realized that he never said  _ ‘I love you’ _ back, but was he really allowed to say that after cheating on Jackson?

No, he wasn't. Jinyoung felt as if he didn't deserve Jackson anymore. Jackson was too good of a man to treat so carelessly, and just the little moment they shared together a few minutes ago showed that. Jackson was way too good for him, Jinyoung definitely felt that. And it just made him want to reverse time and prevent that whole situation with Mark from happening. The last thing Jinyoung wanted to do was hurt Jackson, but he felt it was a bit too late for that, and eventually his secret would come to light.

Jinyoung hated the thought of that. If only he had just said no to Mark. If he had told Mark that he didn't want any company last night, or if he had caught the signs of Mark acting weird earlier, then none of this would be happening. Jinyoung wouldn't be confused, and he wouldn't feel like the worst boyfriend in the world, and he wouldn't even be thinking about anything like that right now. He would probably be kissing Jackson to death if none of this happened. 

He wasn't though. He was instead being tormented with the guilt and confliction in his heart, clueless about what to do about it. And to just make thing worse, Jinyoung was suddenly pushed against the wall as he was heading back to his room, Mark suddenly appearing in front of him.

Jinyoung immediately shook his head, unable to stand seeing the elder right after sharing that sweet moment with Jackson. “Mark, no please, not right now just… no…” he said, trying to duck out of Mark's arms.

Mark grabbed Jinyoung and pushed him firmly against the wall, obviously not letting him escape so easily. “What were you two doing in there?”

Jinyoung furrowed his brows at the question, not expecting Mark to ask that. He sounded… mad? “What does it matter to you? He’s my boyfriend, but you don’t seem to get that.”

Mark frowned at the attitude in Jinyoung's voice as if he were offended by it. “It matters because of what happened last night. You’re just gonna act like it didn’t happen?”

Was Mark crazy? Was he seriously jealous of him and Jackson when they have been dating for weeks now, and Mark only had a one night stand? Of course Jinyoung wanted to act like it didn't happen, because he felt so guilty about it. He knows that he can't forget about it, and probably never will, but he can at least pretend that it didn't happen for Jackson's sake. It's the only way he can hold on to that last little bit of respect he has for his boyfriend, to just pretend it meant absolutely nothing, as if it didn't even happen.

“Yes, I am, because that was wrong. You have no right to be jealous or mad because it was _so_ _wrong_ Mark…” Jinyoung stated, shaking his head in disappointment as he's reminded of it all.

“You didn’t act like it was wrong though.” Mark stated.

That made Jinyoung upset for some reason. He felt that he  _ did _ in fact act like it was wrong, because it felt  _ so wrong _ . If it wasn't wrong, then Jinyoung wouldn't even be worried about it. Yet here he is with all of his thoughts giving him anxiety about everything that's happened. 

“I said it was wrong over and over again, but you ignored me!” Jinyoung yelled, unable to hide how upset he was.

“Because no matter how much you ran your mouth, you still wanted it.” Mark stated, that sentence coming out of his mouth so flat and confident, like he knew it was fact.

Jinyoung though, was caught completely off guard by it. “What?”

Mark took a step closer to Jinyoung, pressing the younger flat against the wall. “I  _ gave _ you a chance to deny me, but  _ you  _ told me to keep going. Your body responded to my every move. You moaned beautifully in my ear, and you never pushed me away. You obviously wanted everything.”

“I-I… I tried to stop you but you were holding me...” Jinyoung tried to argue after a blush settled on his cheeks, but Mark cut him off.

Mark's brows had furrowed together as he was giving Jinyoung an incredulous look. “How did you even try? I wasn't even holding you down with much strength. Look, if you were fully opposed to what I was doing, then I really would've stopped. You're pretending to be the victim when really, you could’ve stopped it. You literally could have  _ told _ me that you  _ really _ didn't want to keep going, but instead what did you say? What did you say, Jinyoung? What'd you tell me?”

Jinyoung looked away, shame settling on his face as Mark pointed out his fault in the whole situation. “I… I said that I wanted to… finish…”

“Exactly. That's what you told me. So now I'm supposed to feel bad even though you wanted it too? That's bullshit Jinyoung. Bullshit. If you really wanted to stop it, you would've told me. But you didn’t. You didn’t want to stop it. You liked it too much, and now you’re ashamed because you’re finally realizing that you have feelings for more than just that one person you call your  _ ‘boyfriend’ _ .” Mark stated, reading Jinyoung as if he were a wide open book. “And it's not like you can say I didn't have your permission to continue, because I  _ asked _ you. You had the chance to stop, but you didn't. You wanted to ‘ _ finish’ _ , as you just said in your own words. Don't blame me for your own choices.”

“Th-That’s… I… I j-just…” Jinyoung was speechless. He wanted to argue. He wanted to yell and slap Mark for saying such crazy things. But he just… couldn't. Why couldn't he argue? Why couldn't he tell Mark that he was wrong? Why wasn't his voice working properly? What Mark was saying wasn't true, yet he couldn't formulate the words to refute him.

“You want me. Whether you want to believe that or not, your heart isn’t only reserved to Jackson, or else what happened last night wouldn't have even had the chance to continue. Accept your feelings Jinyoung, because I’ve accepted mine, and I’m not afraid to tell you how much I want you. I have for a long time, and I'm tired of keeping it to myself.” Mark stated, those being his last words before he walked off to his room.

Jinyoung watched Mark walk away, still frozen against the wall and rendered completely speechless. He thought it all over, and the more he thought about it, the more horrifyingly right Mark was, which made it far worse for Jinyoung. 

He recalled last night, remembering those first signs of Mark turning their play fighting into something more. Jinyoung wasn't stupid. He felt off about it, yet he purposely ignored the signs. And when Mark pinned him down, why didn't he fight back more? Sure, he squirmed and moved around a bit, but he never fully tried to push Mark away. He allowed Mark to do that to him, panting out needy sounding whimpers of  _ ‘stop’ _ and  _ ‘Mark we can't do this’ _ , but then turning around to say that he wanted to  _ ‘finish’ _ .

The one thing though, that really showed Jinyoung's hidden feelings for Mark, was the way his heart beat so rapidly during those moments. Even when Mark's head was just on his chest and Jinyoung caught a whiff of the elder's shampoo, he felt his heart pound  _ hard _ against his chest. The way Mark hugged him so tightly to comfort him, and the way he was able to make Jinyoung experience an incredible feeling of lust and satisfaction; all of that gave Jinyoung a happy warm feeling inside that was becoming increasingly hard to ignore. His feelings of dread and guilt had overpowered them at the time, but his feelings for Mark were still present, and all it took was cheating on Jackson to fully realize them.

Jinyoung clutched his chest, not knowing what to do about his heart beating for two people. He has a boyfriend and now, a crush. They both make him feel good and happy for their own different reasons, but Jinyoung couldn't have both. 

He slid down the wall, ending up in a ball on the floor. He was still clutching his chest, both his brain and his heart conflicted and confused. He hated how much he wanted a hug right now. But the question was, whose arms did Jinyoung want to end up in?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if you found yourself hating Mark this chapter, then don't worry, you're not straying too far from what I intended lol. I kinda wrote him to be pretty obnoxious, so if you end up hating him then that's totally fine.
> 
> I know this chapter was maybe a bit weird and crazy, but I feel like you will like the next chapter a lot better. I think if you're still on the fence about stuff, next chapter might make up for it.
> 
> Anywayy, hope you enjoyed this mess at least. I know it's a stupid plot and kinda crazy, but I still took the time to write it lol. Let me know if something doesn't make sense, or if you have thoughts about something. I try to take all criticism and incorporate it into the work to make an overall better story :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a chapter i wrote a long time ago and i just never posted it.

“Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung sat up, looking up at the familiar figure that stood over him.

“Why… are you on the floor? In the middle of the hallway?” Jaebum asked, looking down at Jinyoung with a puzzled expression.

Jinyoung didn't really know himself why he was down there. He was just overwhelmed with so many emotions, he sort of just malfunctioned and ended up crouching on the floor.

“I… I don't know…” Jinyoung mumbled.

Jaebum bent down, sqatting next to the younger. It was almost telepathic how Jaebum always knew when something was wrong with Jinyoung, and though it can get annoying that Jaebum knew Jinyoung like the back of his hand, sometimes it was helpful when Jinyoung had no one else to talk to.

“What's up?” Jaebum asked, leaning forward to look Jinyoung  in the face.

Jinyoung shook his head, feeling unsure about everything that's happened. “I… it's… complicated…”

Jaebum sighed, dropping his head. Jinyoung knew that Jaebum hated when he kept things to himself, but Jinyoung really didn't know if he felt comfortable telling Jaebum about the deeds he's done and how guilty he was feeling for it.

Jaebum then stood up, reaching down to grab Jinyoung's arm and pull the younger up with him. “Come on, lets go.”

Jinyoung furrowed his brows at Jaebum as he was pulled up to his feet by the elder. “Where?”

“Let's go out. Just me and you.” Jaebum said, pulling Jinyoung to his room.

Jinyoung pulled away, not really in the mood to leave the house. “No, Jaebum I'm fine, you don't need to try and cheer me up…”

Jaebum turned to face Jinyoung, shaking his head. “I'm not trying to cheer you up. I'm just getting you out the house.”

“I don't wanna Jaebum…” Jinyoung whined, pulling further away from the elder.

Jaebum though, pulled harder in the opposite direction, dragging Jinyoung to his room. “I didn't ask if you wanted to. We're going. Get dressed.”

Jaebum pushed Jinyoung into his room and closed the door behind him, saying that they'll leave in about 15 minutes. Jinyoung really didn't want to go, he just wanted to stay in his room and bury himself in his covers. Jaebum didn't really seem to be giving him a choice though, and the elder would be back soon to drag him out the room even if he tried to lock himself up in it.

Jinyoung sighed as he opened his drawers to put on some clothes. He hadn't even showered yet, and he didn't really care, which was unusual for him. He barely even made it out of his room to go with Jaebum, but the elder insisted on getting him out of the house, so all Jinyoung did was go along.

Jaebum practically dragged Jinyoung to a cafe that was just down the street, seating them at a table in the far back corner of the building. Jinyoung at least appreciated Jaebum's thoughtfulness, taking him out when he's feeling down and finding a private place they could go together, even if it was against Jinyoung's will. Changing locations still didn't take his mind off of Jackson and Mark though, and Jinyoung was a lump of regret and confusion sitting across from Jaebum with coffee that the elder ordered for him.

Jaebum just quietly sipped his drink, glancing up at Jinyoung occasionally. Jinyoung barely moved, he just sat there in his large hoodie that he pulled over his head to hide his unkempt face, his guilt eating him up alive every single second.

“You gonna take a sip? I know it's what you like.” Jaebum said, finally breaking the silence between them as he gestured to Jinyoung's untouched coffee.

Jinyoung shook his head, dropping it down to the table and covering himself with his arms. “I don't want any.”

Jaebum sighed with a frown, pushing the drink further towards Jinyoung. “Come on, I didn't spend nearly 10 dollars on this for you to waste it.”

“I didn't ask you to buy it.” Jinyoung retorted, though he should be feeling grateful towards Jaebum for doing all this for him.

“Just take a sip to make me feel as if I'm not wasting money.” Jaebum said, urging Jinyoung to not waste the drink.

Jinyoung sighed and slowly lifted his head. He looked miserable, because he felt miserable, and drinking coffee couldn't help the fact that he betrayed his boyfriend. Still, he should at least be courteous enough to take a sip since Jaebum was going out of his way to make him feel better. Jinyoung grabbed the warm cup of hot coffee and took a little sip, the taste of his favorite caramel mocha flavor spreading across his tongue. 

The coffee warmed his whole body up on the cool day, and he ended up drinking more than he thought he would, already finishing a third of the drink in just a minute or so. He wiped his mouth of the frothy beverage and slumped his face back down to the table, hiding himself in his arms again.

“Feel any better?”Jaebum asked, already expecting a negative answer based on Jinyoung's actions.

Of course the younger shook his head, the coffee tasting good, but not having magical powers that could fix his situation. He was stuck in a hole filled with remorse, and it seemed like there was no way out of it. 

All Jaebum could do was sit there and watch Jinyoung mope, having no idea what he was moping about. Jinyoung wasn't the easiest person to get talking about his problems, but that's usually about little stuff that he was sure he could handle himself. Jinyoung's situation though was obviously something a lot more serious, and that was easy to tell since it was unusual for him to be so down in the dumps like he was today. Jaebum knew something was wrong that Jinyoung was having an incredibly hard time dealing with, and it was obvious that the elder wanted to help.

“Jinyoung what is it?” Jaebum asked, not cutting straight to the point to get the younger talking.

“What is what?” Jinyoung asked in response, playing a  _ ‘hard to get’ _ game with the information.

“Don't do this.” Jaebum urged, already familiar with Jinyoung's skill of avoiding  topics he didn't want to talk about. He pushed at the younger's head, deciding to pester him until he gives it up. “Come on, look at me, what's wrong?”

Jinyoung lifted his head only lightly, his eyes being the only visible part of his face. Jaebum leaned down and rested his head on the table as well, meeting Jinyoung at his level to look the younger in the eyes.

Jinyoung shook his head again, still withholding his troubles. “It's nothing Jaebum. Why are we even here?”

“We're here because no one else is. Just you and me. The others are either working or at home, so if you need someone to talk to  _ privately _ , I'm right here.” Jaebum said, his concerned gaze still unwaveringly  holding Jinyoung's.

Jinyoung sighed, his eyes averting away from Jaebum who still watched him closely. Jinyoung knew that Jaebum was trying to drag him out of the house to make him feel better and to try and pry information from him, but he hadn't really noticed how thoughtful Jaebum had been. Besides just taking him somewhere he could escape his worries, Jaebum also had taken him away from the possibility of unwanted ears hearing his problems, which is why the two were currently sitting in the back of that cafe. Jinyoung fully lifted his head up and looked at Jaebum, taking in a breath as many thoughts buzzed in his mind, he didn't know which one to start with.

“Im… it's… complicated…you won't believe it...” Jinyoung stated, opening up at least a little bit more than he was before. He truly didn't know how to explain himself, and he already knew that reaccounting his actions would only make him feel worse.

“Try me.” Jaebum said, also sitting up to lean in closer to Jinyoung, his sharp, concentrated eyes boring holes into the younger.

Jinyoung hesitated, shaking his head again as he thought of how wrong everything had been in the past 24 hours, and how things are progressively getting worse. “No, seriously, you don't understand… I did something…. shitty…” Jinyoung tried to explain with the least amount of detail.

“We've all done something shitty.” Jaebum pointed out, which was true, but Jinyoung was sure that not everyone cheats on their boyfriend with their best friends. They've all done something shitty, but at least  not to the this caliber.

“But Jaebum this is… so unlike me… it wasn't even my fault, I just…” Jinyoung still couldn't wrap his mind around it. Was something wrong with him? Was he drunk last night too? He was admittedly tipsy, but he could still think straight, and he knew that allowing Mark to touch him like that was wrong. Yet why didn't he stop it? Why did he do such an awful thing, especially at the expense of someone he supposedly loves and cares for deeply?

Jaebum looked at Jinyoung insensly, as if he were reading the younger's every facial expression. He can tell when Jinyoung was think hard or tormenting himself about something, and this was one of the moments where he was doing both. Jinyoung's worst enemy was his own mind; always putting extreme thoughts in his head and making him feel like an absolute mess.

“Jinyoung, you can tell me what happened. You look devastated, you need to talk to someone.” Jaebum said as calmly as he could, not even realizing that he was sitting on the edge of his seat waiting for Jinyoung to spill.

“I am devastated… I don't know what to do… I really… did something bad…” Jinyoung stated, his hands driving under his hood and into his hair, ruffling the already messy strands like he usually does when stressed.

“Stop keeping me in suspense then. You keep talking about how terrible it is, but judging by you, spilling water on the carpet is something absolutely terrible.” Jabum said, subtly pointing out how exaggerated Jinyoung would make situations.

Jinyoung admittedly did make things seem worse than they are, but that's just him over worrying about something that really wasn't important. This situation though was totally different. His relationship with both Mark and Jackson were in jeopardy now, all because of a stupid mistake. This wasn't an over-exaggeration, this was incredibly serious.

“It's… nothing like that… it's worse…” Jinyoung mumbled, making the mental the decision about whether he should tell Jaebum or not. Jaebum was another close friend, and besides Mark, he talked to Jaebum about everything too. He's never talked to him about something like this before,which is why Jinyoung was stalling to tell him. When it came to relationships and advice, Jinyoung would mostly talk to Mark, since he was the only one who'd listen. 

He wasn't sure how Jaebum would react, and he definitely didn't want to be thought of differently because of his actions. This is what worried Jinyoung; though he's made a huge mistake, he didn't want that to redefine who he was as a person. Or maybe it should. Maybe Jinyoung wasn't the type person he thought he was.

“Then…?” Jaebum asked expectantly, picking up his cup and taking a sip while waiting for Jinyoung to continue.

Jinyoung took in a breath, shaking his head as he decided to just tell Jaebum. He was confused and needed some sort of outside guidance, and Jaebum seemed to be the only person he could really turn to in this moment. They’ve told each other about countless things they’ve done, and their friendship hasn’t changed, so his relationship with Jaebum shouldn’t be in trouble… at least Jinyoung hoped.

“Um… last night… it happened…” Jinyoung said, mentally preparing himself to recall everything that happened. “B-But I swear it wasn’t my fault! Or, well… I mean, I didn’t  _ start _ it…”

“Okay, didn’t start  _ what _ Jinyoung? What are you so ashamed of telling me? You keep beating around the bush, I can’t help you if you’re not direct.” Jaebum stated, the elder playing with his straw that floated around in his cup as he waited for Jinyoung to elaborate.

“I…” Jinyoung really didn’t like saying it out loud, but he had to take responsibility for his actions, it’s the only right thing he could do at this point. His face turned completely red as he spit it out, full of shame and embarrassment. “I… cheated… on Jackson…”

Jaebum looked up at Jinyoung, his eyes glued to Jinyoung's as if trying to see if the younger was serious. He then looked back down at his drink, nodding his head once he’d got his verdict. Jinyoung was as serious as ever, and Jaebum could tell that this was the real problem that Jinyoung's been struggling with. He took it surprisingly well, he didn’t even looked shocked or anything, which took Jinyoung by surprise. Did Jinyoung seem like the type of person that would do that sort of thing? Is that why Jaebum isn’t giving more of a reaction? Not that Jinyoung wanted a reaction necessarily, he just thought that it would be shocking to hear that he had cheated on Jackson, but maybe Jinyoung was just overreacting about it again.

“With?” Jaebum finally asked, leaning forward to take another sip from his drink while looking up at Jinyoung.

Jinyoung swallowed hard, his fingers tapping on the table as he was about confess another large secret that made his cheating feel worse. “It… was with… Mark…”

This time, Jaebum pulled quickly away from his drink, gulping the bit of liquid he had in his mouth down. His eyes widened just slightly at Jinyoung's confession, unable to hide the surprise in his face. Jinyoung felt exposed now, and Jaebum's reaction didn't calm his nerves. He waited impatiently for the elder to gather his thoughts and say something,  _ anything _ , since Jinyoung didn't know what to say himself.

Jaebum nodded slowly, looking down briefly at the table. “Mark, huh?”

“Y-Yes but, it wasn't really my fault! I just, h-he, we were supposed to just-...” Jinyoung was fumbling and tumbling over his words, wanting to say everything he was thinking all at the same time.

Jaebum reached out and grabbed his wrist, attracting the younger's attention. “Hey calm down. Breathe. Take it slow, start off by explaining what you mean by it wasn't your fault.”

Jinyoung took in a slow breath, his heart pumping fast against his chest from a stew of emotions he didn't know how to handle all at once. He steadied himself, trying to clearly get out his words. “I mean… it wasn't me who started it. I had no intention on doing that with Mark…”

Jaebum furrowed his brows, a sudden serious expression on his face. He leaned in closer to the table, lowering his voice to just above a whisper. “You didn't  _ want _ to cheat on Jackson? Did… did Mark force himself onto you?”

Jinyoung's eyes widened at what Jaebum was insinuating. It definitely didn't feel anything like that, Jinyoung didn't feel as if his body was invaded or taken advantage of, and he didn't want to accuse Mark of doing such a terrible thing if that wasn't the case. “No! No, Jaebum no, don't think that way… he didn't really…  _ force _ himself onto me… I…”

“What happened then? If you didn't  _ want _ to cheat on Jackson, then how did you end up doing so?” Jaebum asked, confused with Jinyoung's contradicting words 

“Well… Mark just… he started getting all touchy and stuff and I tried to tell him to stop…” Jinyoung explained, beginning to retell the story of what happened.

Jaebum leaned in even more, his back straightening and face hardening as he looked sternly at Jinyoung. “So he  _ did _ do it against your will? Jinyoung you know how serious this is? This isn't cheating if Mark did this without your consent, it's a crime.”

Jinyoung quickly shook his head, waving his arms in denial. “No, Jaebum stop it wasn't like that, I'm telling you…”

“It sounds like you told Mark to stop and he didn't, correct?” Jaebum asked, obviously leading down to accusing Mark of wrongdoing.

Jinyoung didn't want to accuse Mark of anything, since technically it wasn't necessarily all his fault, and Jinyoung was surprised at how fast Jaebum believed that Mark would do such a thing. “...Yes but-”

“Then Jinyoung you have to tell Jackson that. And we should inform the company if Mark seriously did this.  That's… almost unbelievable.” Jaebum stated, pulling out his phone as if he were going to phone the company right then and there.

“No Jaebum listen!” Jinyoung quickly said, Jaebum looking up at the younger curiously. “I… I responded to him.” Jinyoung confessed.

Jaebum's brows knitted together in a veil of confusion over his face. “What? What does that mean?”

Jinyoung took in another deep breath before elaborating his confession, getting himself together to face the truth of his actions. “I mean… I liked it, okay? I liked him touching me and stuff…”

“Just because your body reacts doesn't mean you liked it, Jinyoung.” Jaebum stated, still speculating that what happened to Jinyoung wasn’t as harmless as the younger made it out to be.

“No, but Jaebum… I  _ said _ stop but I didn’t really  _ want _ him to stop… and in the end, I couldn't stop myself from enjoying it. I  _ told _ him to finish, with my own words. That's why I'm confused, Jaebum. I… think I have feelings for Mark …” Jinyoung explained, finally confessing what he’d been so afraid of feeling.

“Oh…” Jaebum said, slowly placing his phone down on the table. His eyes looked up as the ceiling as he thought about what Jinyoung was saying. “... _ oh _ .” he repeated again as he grasped Jinyoung's situation.

Jinyoung groaned in frustration. He felt so jumbled and confused, and Jaebum didn't even look like he knew what to say in that moment after understanding Jinyoung's dilemma. Jinyoung was growing annoyed with himself, already tired of worrying over the consequences of his actions.

“I don't know what to do!” Jinyoung stated, flopping his head back down onto the table.

“Okay, so… how late last night did this happen? Did Jackson come in and see you two together?” Jaebum questioned, trying to put the whole story together in his mind. He was trying to help as much as possible, but even he didn't really know what to do besides gather as much information as he could to try and give his best advice.

“No, after we, uh…  _ finished _ , I remember Mark laying on my chest, and he felt so nice and warm, and even though I felt guilty, I fell right asleep in his arms. Then this morning, he was gone, and Jackson was back home, and he didn't seem like he knew a thing.” Jinyoung stated, his heart beating fast just from remembering the night before.

“So Jackson acted normally with you?” Jaebum inquired, his hand rubbing his chin in the habitual way it did when Jaebum was thinking.

“He acted fine. He… he's so sweet Jaebum, and when I was with him I felt so wrong because I was thinking about Mark in the back of my head. Literally just this morning Jackson was all lovey dovey to me and right after he left, Mark was pushing me to a wall. I'm such a shitty boyfriend, I don't deserve Jackson at all…” Jinyoung could barely stand how careless he's been. This really wasn't like him, to do something do shady and untrustworthy, then to hide it as if it didn't happen. Jinyoung truly didn't deserve Jackson, he felt that deep in his heart, and it hurt like a fresh wound.

“Do you still love Jackson?” Jaebum asked, the question only making Jinyoung's heart hurt more from how obvious the answer was.

“Of course I do but… Mark's got me confused, and I didn't want to admit it but, Mark had said something to me earlier that really got me thinking about my feelings…” Jinyoung stated.

Jaebum nodded, for Jinyoung to continue. “What did he say?”

“...He said that if I didn't want to do it, I would have put up more of a fight to stop it, and when I think about it, I really didn't try that hard because I didn’t  _ want _ to stop it. I even told him to continue with my own mouth! He said that he's accepted his feelings for me and that I should accept my feelings for him. But… if I do that, then Jackson …” Jinyoung trailed off, not even wanting to think about it.

“Jackson would feel betrayed.” Jaebum finished, knowing Jinyoung's train of thought all too well.

Jinyoung shook his head, running his hands anxiously through his hair once again. “Jaebum I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die and rot in hell for hurting such an angel of a boyfriend…”

Jaebum reached out and lightly touched Jinyoung's hand in a means to reassure him. “Jinyoung relax… I mean, Mark still had no excuse for doing that, but if you’re really admitting to me that you wanted it, then I think you might need some time to calm down and truly think about this.”

“I can't!” Jinyoung snapped, the last thing he felt like he needed to do was relax, not when he's put his relationship with the person he loves at risk. “I'm on fucking edge, I feel like everytime I see Jackson he's gonna find out scream at me and look at me with those hurt puppy eyes… I don't wanna lose him…”

“You don't want to lose him, but you think you like Mark as well? Jinyoung how do you expect this to work?” Jaebum asked as if Jinyoung hadn't even realized the complication of the situation.

Jinyoung had realized how complicated his feelings were, he knew that something wasn't going to work out, whether it was between Mark or Jackson. He already knew that he couldn't have both, and he already knew that he was in a commitment to someone who he should respect. That's why it's all too confusing though, Jinyoung didn't know how to handle all of this, and it was becoming more stressful the longer time went on. “I don't know! That's what I'm trying to figure out…”

“Well, to be real with you, the decision is yours on who you want. If you like how things are with Jackson and you see this as a big mistake, then stay with Jackson and don't do anything with Mark.” Jaebum stated, giving the best advice he could give Jinyoung in this situation.

“But… what if I get so guilty thinking about it… it's still gonna be on my mind…” Jinyoung already had his guilt eating him away, and he wasn't the type that could have the weight of his actions on his back forever, it would be too much of a burden to carry rather than just getting it off his chest.

“I'd say either keep what happened between you and Mark a secret, or tell Jackson straight up. Jackson likes honesty, and if he truly loves and and believes you, then I think he would hear you out and try his best to handle this situation in the best way possible.” Jaebum stated, though this was only an assumption, since no one really knew how Jackson would react.

“But… then Mark is gonna be upset…” Jinyoung whined, always finding the holes in each solution Jaebum tries to give him.

“See, this is why I can't help you much. You sound like you want to make things right between you and Jackson, but then you suddenly start talking about Mark. If you want to be with Mark, then just break it off with Jackson and come clean with your feelings. Some couples just aren't meant to work out.” Jaebum stated, trying to break it to Jinyoung as subtly as possible that maybe Jackson just wasn't the guy for him.

Jinyoung refused to believe that though. Jackson was a great guy, and anyone would be lucky to have him in their life. Jinyoung cherished Jackson greatly, and before last night, their relationship was going pretty well aside from the lack of seeing each other. “But me and Jackson are working out perfectly! He's a wonderful guy and I love him so much, it hurts to know how heartbroken he'd be to find out… I'm not even sure how I feel about Mark yet…”

Jaebum sighed as he thought it over some more, trying to find any other possible explanations or solutions to Jinyoung's problems. “Do you think it was just lust then? Is Jackson not satisfying you in the sexual department?” he suddenly asked.

Jinyoung eyes widened a bit, as he was caught off guard by the question, feeling his cheeks warm up a bit from embarrassment. “J-Jaebum this is weird to talk about…”

“i need answers if you want to talk to me.” Jaebum stated firmly, looking at Jinyoung expectantly.

Jinyong hesitated to talk, feeling as if this was a really personal turn of the conversation. Jaebum was right though, and Jinyoung wanted as much outside advice as he could get. “When… when me and Jackson have the time to be together it's… great…”

“But he hasn't been around enough, has he? You two don't have enough time to get intimate with each other, and you miss him a lot, right?” Jaebum asked, his eyes concentrated on Jinyoung as if the younger were a puzzle he was trying to put together.

Jinyoung nodded his head in response. “Yes, but-…”

“Then that might be it.” Jaebum concluded. “You just want to satisfy yourself, which is why you did what you did with Mark. It's perfectly normal Jinyoung.”

“It's not normal to  _ cheat _ on your boyfriend.” Jinyoung said, reminding Jaebum of the severity of his actions due to his  _ ‘dissatisfaction’ _ .

“It's normal to want pleasure when you haven't been getting it lately.” Jaebum stated casually, as if for that reason it was okay for Jinyoung to cheat.

“It's not just sex Jaebum! Why does my heart beat faster when I'm with Mark? Why do I enjoy him being so close to me? I shouldn't be getting  _ ‘excited’ _ down there just from him laying his head on my chest!” Jinyoung felt himself going crazy over all of this. He didn't know why he felt anything for Mark at all, and just thinking about the elder got his heart pumping. He should be thinking about Jackson now, shouldn't he?

Jaebum frowned as he watched Jinyoung nearly lose his mind. He reached forward and placed his hand on Jinyoung's arm, squeezing it in his palm. “I can't answer that Jinyoung, only you can. Only you know who you like, so if you think that you like Mark as more than just a sex buddy, then you have to accept those feelings. The relationship between you and Jackson will only become worse if you continue to hide them.”  

Jinyoung hated how much sense Jaebum was making. But maybe it was because he hated conflict. He hated facing the truth, and the truth that he wanted to hide was that he did in fact have some sort of feelings for Mark. Whether they were deep or not that serious, they were there, and Jinyoung was obviously having a hard time denying that.

“And if you like Jackson…” Jaebum continued. “...then I think you should rid your conscious of the situation and come clean, apologize as much as you can, and never do it again. That's all I can really tell you.”

Jinyoung sighed, nodding his head. Jaebum's advice made sense, even with his inexperience with the situation. When it comes down to it, Jaebum was just as clueless as Jinyoung. But Jinyoung know that he was trying to be there for him as best as possible, and all he could do was be thankful to the elder. “Are you sure any of that will solve anything?”

“I'm not sure at all. Jackson may never forgive you for cheating, especially since he's been through it before…” Jinyoung looked up at Jaebum, a frown plastered on his face. That didn't make Jinyoung feel better at all, but he at least appreciated Jaebum's brutal honesty. The last thing he needed was to handle this situation with false hope. “...but, I know Jackson loves you more than anything else in the world, and if you truly feel bad for what you did, then he may forgive you…”

“I do feel awful… are you saying that I should tell him?” Jinyoung asked to make sure that that's what Jaebum was insinuating.

Jaebum slowly nodded, his hand still squeezing Jinyoung's arm in reassurance. “If you want to make things right and not feel guilty anymore, then I think you should.”

Jinyoung was quiet for a moment, fully realizing that he has to face Jackson and tell his boyfriend to his face of his wrong doing. The thought absolutely terrified him, and Jinyoung knew that no matter how much he'd try to gain the courage to do it, that he won't be ready to face Jackson confidently. He really dreaded it, but he knew it was the right thing to do to fully clear his mind.

“Fuck.” he cursed, covering his face with his hands.

Jaebum patted Jinyoung's arm, knowing that the younger was frustrated with everything, but mostly with himself. “You'll be okay, just say it from your heart.”

“My heart is confused.” Jinyoung responded, and almost as if on cue he felt his heart beat harder against his chest, now even more aware of his anxiety.

“Then tell him that.” Jaebum suggested as if it were that simple.

“Jaebum, it's a lot harder than you think.” Jinyoung shook his head, unable to think of it as an easy task. Just living with the secret of cheating on Jackson was taking a toll on him, and fully admitting his unfaithfulness would only be a harder challenge. He truly hated himself for causing such a complicated situation, and he wish he could have just prevented it from the start.

What was done was done though, and now Jinyoung has to take responsibility for it.

“I'm sure it is.” Jaebum agreed, the elder standing from his seat to round the table and pull Jinyoung against him into an embrace, the younger finding comfort, even if it was just a little, in Jaebum's caring arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I might get rid of this story. Like, i dunno i kind of hate it :/ just wanted to give you guys another chapter before i make the decision.


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